对标准化语言测试中的写作部分而言,没有什么东西比命题者出具的评分标准更为重要了。因为,只有当考生和教师吃透了评分标准,才能清楚阅卷者到底期待什么或者排斥什么,从而做到有的放矢、“投其所好”。在雅思写作评分标准的四项指标中,连贯与衔接(coherence and cohesion)位于“切题(task response)”之后和“语言(lexical resources; grammatical range and accuracy)”之前,可见其重要性不可小觑。严格意义上来讲,“连贯”的概念范畴要大于“衔接”;换言之,“连贯”的实现有多种方式,而“衔接”是其中之一。但是,对于雅思考生而言,没有必要对二者进行严格的区分,可以将“连贯与衔接”视为整体进行学习。
连贯与衔接的主要实现方式
在找出这个问题的答案之前,我们先来读一读美国诗人兰斯顿·休斯(Langston Hughes)那首著名的小诗Dreams的第一部分:
Dreams
By Langston Hughes
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
这首小诗在美国流传甚广,深受普通人的喜爱。笔者的译文如下:定要紧握梦想∕因为,如若梦想消亡∕生命便是折翼的鸟儿∕无法飞翔。有读者定在疑惑:讲雅思写作的连贯与衔接,为何先读了一首英文诗歌?那现在就请大家注意观察诗中这几个单词:第二行里的for和if,以及第二行的dreams和第四行的 that。单词for表示“因为”,将第一行和后三行在逻辑上连接起来;单词if表示“如果”,将第二行和后两行在逻辑上连接起来。实际上,它们所体现的正是实现连贯与衔接的一种重要手段:逻辑连接词。那么dreams和that呢?第二行的dreams是对第一行dreams的重复,表示在内容上两行所讲为同一事物,实现语义上的连贯;第四行的that作为关系代词引出定语从句,对第三行bird限定修饰,实际上相当于两个句子“…life is a broken-winged bird。”和“The bird cannot fly”。可见,dreams和that体现的是实现连贯与衔接的另一种重要手段:概念重复及指代。至此,相信读者应该明白为什么引用兰斯顿·休斯的这首小诗了。所以,如果读者熟记这四行文字,那不仅意味着背下了一阕优美动人的小诗,还意味着掌握了连贯和衔接的两种实现方式,何乐而不为?
重要逻辑连接词
那么刚才所讲的逻辑连接词是怎么体现在雅思作文中的呢?我们再来看雅思考官所写的范文(剑7 Test 3写作Tsk 2考官范文):
Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.Firstly,a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work,so positive feedback from superiors is very important in this respect.A sense of fulfillment is also encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to the society or the economy as a whole. Secondly, when someone feels they are improving or developing their skills through training opportunities, for example, then there is a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker. The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes to job satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives. Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team.
文中firstly,secondly,以及“The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes to job satisfaction…”和“Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility…”中的also体现的是序列关系,引出了作者眼中影响job satisfaction的四个方面。此外,文中多次出现的so,because,if,for example等词语也是逻辑连接词,分别体现了因果、条件、例证等逻辑关系。为方便读者学习,这里列举若干重要逻辑关系连接词:
教师谈雅思写作评分标准中的连贯与衔接
我们再来看学生习作的例子。话题是面向孩子的广告是否应该被允许。所选段落修改自学生作文,主要增加了若干逻辑连接词(以黄色标记出来),使得整个段落的行文变得流畅了许多。来源:考试大
The first danger would be that it will pose a heavy financial burden on families with kids. This is because, young children can be easily attracted by advertisements, and then they would request or even force their parents to buy them what they see on advertising. Unfortunately, most families have only one child and parents always spoil their kids; for this reason, children"s demands are normally fulfilled. In addition, prices of products advertised on TV commercials are frequently higher than those of other normal commodities, so that the financial burden will be much heavier.
代词的正确使用
在“连贯与衔接”的第二种实现方式“概念重复及指代”中,最需要予以关注的是代词的正确使用。因为,由于受到母语负迁移的影响,中文代词使用的不严格会诱使学生频频出错。集中学习并立即改正这些错误对于很多考生而言迫在眉睫。
第一个最常见的错误是一个句子中代词的频繁转换,即所谓pronoun shift。典型的例子是“When one searches on the Internet, you will potentially get onto illegal websites, which will cause negative consequences to us.”在这句话中one,you和us未能保持一致,让考官不知所云。应该修改为“When searching on the Internet, we may potentially get onto illegal websites, which will cause negative consequences to us.”
第二种常见错误是代词在“性”上未能与被指代对象保持一致,这在学生的口语中也是常见问题。比如学生所写这句话“Studying in a co-educational school, a girl may concentrate more on popular boys, which may cause ignorance of his study.”显然,his的出现与句子主语a girl是不相符合的,应该改为her。
第三种错误是代词在“数”上未能与被指代对象保持一致。在“Girls are easy to be persuaded to buy cosmetics, because she always wants to be pretty.”中,主语是girls,为复数,但是原因状语从句中的代词却是she。改正的方法便是将she改为they体现“数”的一致,同时将 wants改为want,实现从句内部的主谓一致。最终结果为“Girls are easy to be persuaded to buy cosmetics, because they always want to be pretty.”。
第四种错误是“格”出了问题,最常见的情况是本该用形容词性物主代词(比如their),结果误用了代词的主格或宾格(比如用成了they或者them),或者在主格和宾格之间未能区分清楚(比如分不清they和them)。一个典型的例子是“Some graduates are proud of their diplomas; however, companies regard they as nothing.”。句中regard后面应接宾语,所以they应该改为them才对。
第五种错误与反身代词的使用有关。反身代词表示“某人自己”,比如“Many children are addicted to computer games and they cannot control themselves at all.”教学中笔者发现,学生清楚这种用法,但是不会表达“某人自己的”这个概念,总是说“Teenagers cannot control themselves behaviours”。这句话中,themselves要改为their own才能体现出“某人自己的”这层意思。因此,考生在作文时要格外留意这个小点。
结语:
不同于汉语的“意合”,英文处处体现“形合”,即内在连接往往体现在外在的连接手段上。所以,考生要牢固掌握最基本的“连贯与衔接”实现手段,让自己的雅思作文在该评分项目上稳获高分。
(责任编辑:申月月)