别人参加女团，我打开美团。
When others join the womens League, I open the beauty League.
“我喜欢发光的男人！”“你说的是如来吗?”
"I like glowing men!" "are you talking about Tathagata?"
从前车马很慢，书信很远，一生只够爱一个人，但是能纳很多妾。
Once upon a time, horses and cars were very slow and letters were far away. I only loved one person in my life, but I could take a lot of concubines.
广告就是告诉别人，钱还可以这么花。
Advertising is to tell others that money can still be spent like this.
有没有美女想要垫个下巴，请联系我，我有双下巴，打算卖一个。
If there is any beauty who wants to pad a chin, please contact me. I have a double chin and intend to sell one.
很欣赏打工人的一句话：打工赚不了几个钱，但是多打几份工可以让你没时间花钱。
I appreciate the words of migrant workers: working can make a lot of money, but playing more jobs can make you have no time to spend money.
别骂自己的孩子是小兔崽子，因为从遗传学的角度来讲，这对家长是不利的。
Don call your child a little rabbit, because its bad for parents from a genetic point of view.
以后再有人说你没毅力，你就告诉他“谁说我没毅力，老子单身十几年”
In the future, if someone says you don have perseverance, you tell him, "who says I don have perseverance? Ive been single for more than ten years."
就算老师讲的是个毛线，学霸也能将它织成毛衣。
Even if the teacher is talking about wool, Xueba can knit it into a sweater.
卑微的爱情请离我而去，就算最后一无所有，我也不会卑微的回头，除非你是富婆。
Humble love, please leave me. Even if I have nothing at last, I will not look back humbly, unless you are a rich woman.
世上最遥远的距离不是你在天涯，我在海角，而是考试的时候，答案就在兜里面，你却不敢拿出来。
The furthest distance in the world is not that you are at the end of the world and I am at the Cape of the sea, but that when you take an exam, the answer is in your pocket, but you dare not take it out.
“看书干嘛？看黑板！”“看黑板干嘛？看我！”“看我干嘛？看书！”上学好累！
"Why do you read? Look at the blackboard!" "why do you look at the blackboard? Look at me!" "why do you look at me? Read!" Im so tired of school!
真羡慕你们这些长得丑的人，失恋了至少还可以说一句“谁让我丑呢”来安慰自己。
I really envy you ugly people. If you are lovelorn, you can at least say "who makes me ugly" to comfort yourself.
谈恋爱就像开车，出了事情，新司机只会打电话找人哭，老司机换上备胎就继续上路了。
Falling in love is like driving. When something happens, the new driver will only call someone to cry. The old driver will change into a spare tire and continue on the road.
图源网，侵联删
想了解更多精彩内容，快来关注浅谚婉语
